I am so sorry you are going through this. There is nothing worse then being unemployed and then finding out about infidelity. You already feel depressed about not having or being able to find a job and now you add an the xtra stress and insecurity that comes along with a cheating spouse. I lost my job in August and found out of my husbands affairs in November. There is nothing worse then the feeling of having no where to go and no way of supporting yourself until you find a job and jobs are not easy to find right now.

You say you have family in Ohio, can you stay with any of them until you can get on your feet? Right now you need the support of your family to help get through this. It doesn't seem like your husband is sorry for his actions so he most likely will continue down this path. You deserve better and if he can't stop all his cheating then he doesn't deserve you.

Over a 3 week period I found out my husband was sexting one woman, had a physical affair with another and an emotional affair with a 3rd. I think after finding out so much you become numb to the situation...a person can only handle so much and it just kept coming. I shut down for weeks because I couldn't deal with it and didn't know what to do. I got to the point where I just didn't care about anything my life, him and if I discovered one more woman or that he was still in contact with any of the 3 woman I was out. You have kids so I know you have to remain strong for them and be there for them.

I have started working out and trying to work on me. It is hard, not working you have so much time to dwell on the details, I can't help but feel if I had a job things would be better. I hope you are able to get some help, just know you are not alone.

Thank you so much for responding, i now feel i have someone to talk to. I could stay with my mother, however i don't want to have to move again. I love it down here in Florida and it has always been a dream of mine to live here. Part of my job problem i think is because i have been so depressed with my life i can't seem to hold down anything. through this whole ordeal with my husband in the 3 year period i have lost 50+ pounds due to stress. I am not well i am afraid mentally. I love him we have a very strong connection and he is relentless. Since i found out last week about woman #? who only knows i have had sex with him and he won't leave me alone. He says he loves me and i believe he does, i think his issues stem deeper than that. Funny thing is he became the man he hates. he used to critisize the guys he traveled with because they cheated on their wives. now he is one of them. I want to leave because it is just going to keep happening. He is not crazy about going for counceling. I have not told my mother of this incident yet. I am afraid because i always have in the back of my head what if we work things out, i don't want my family to hate him. I have to convince myself that the relationship is over, don't I? I just don't know where to turn first. I am waiting to wake up from this horrible nightmare.

Thank you so much for responding, i now feel i have someone to talk to. I could stay with my mother, however i don't want to have to move again. I love it down here in Florida and it has always been a dream of mine to live here. Part of my job problem i think is because i have been so depressed with my life i can't seem to hold down anything. through this whole ordeal with my husband in the 3 year period i have lost 50+ pounds due to stress. I am not well i am afraid mentally. I love him we have a very strong connection and he is relentless. Since i found out last week about woman #? who only knows i have had sex with him and he won't leave me alone. He says he loves me and i believe he does, i think his issues stem deeper than that. Funny thing is he became the man he hates. he used to critisize the guys he traveled with because they cheated on their wives. now he is one of them. I want to leave because it is just going to keep happening. He is not crazy about going for counceling. I have not told my mother of this incident yet. I am afraid because i always have in the back of my head what if we work things out, i don't want my family to hate him. I have to convince myself that the relationship is over, don't I? I just don't know where to turn first. I am waiting to wake up from this horrible nightmare.

I understand the depression, I am very thankful I was unemployed at the time. I couldn't eat, sleep, and didn't really want to do anything for a few months. Now that we are recovering and seem to be doing better I think being unemployed is making things worse. I have so much free time to dwell on the past and nothing to keep my mind busy...and sometimes now I feel insecure and am unsure of what my husband is thinking so I need a job just in case, if I had to do it on my own I couldn't right now. That scares me!!!

I think you need to decide what you want to do. Take your time this is a tough choice that doesn't need to be made overnight. I think the only way your marriage can continue is with individual and couples counseling. Your husband has to make major changes and if he doesn't fix his issues he will never stop and you will continue to get hurt and you deserve better. Make it a condition of you staying if that is what you decide.

Also maybe you should contact a divorce attorney just to see what your options are. Your original consultation should be free and you can have a better idea of where to go from there. It sounds like you may already know what you want to do to find happiness for yourself. 3 years is a long time to live with someone who is not respecting you, you have certainly given him enough chances and he has made no effort to show you he wants to change. Stay strong and start working on what is going to make you happy and healthy again.

“The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift is yours - it is an amazing journey - and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins.” - Quote from Bob Moawad

---I am soo sorry for you girly :( but hey, guess what?! this is your life, it is short and you are in control of your future. do what is best for your children and for YOURSELF!

I'm sorry for all you are going thru. I can tell you still love him too. But I agree he would need counceling. I understand why you never went back. You have to protect yourself....

I have not read everyone else's remarks and or suggestions so forgive me if I am being redundant. I am a California licensed private investigator specializing in infidelity cases such as yours. There are a few things the victims of infidelity need to do when the experience the numerous warning signs that most victims experience. There are also a few things that victims need to do once the have the evidence the need and or after the infidelity has been exposed. To reduce the length of this email, I will just direct those interested to my website which helps identify the signs of infidelity http://www.corinthians-group.com/infidelity_investigations.html and state that if you suspect your spouse or significant other is unfaithful, you must immediately develop a back up plan and serious consequences for this behavior.
1-If a cheater believes there is little to no consequences for their behavior the will continue to be unfaithful! Most victims believe that confronting and exposing the infidelity will scare their spouse and force them to be faithful.

2-If you continue to confront a cheater with suspected evidence, they will do 1 or 2 things. The will either become much more crafty and skilled at covering up their affair. Or they will eventually show little concern about covering up their affair. The point is, they will NEVER STOP! They may stop for 2-3 months, but that is about it.

3-I am not an advocate of divorce under most circumstances, however swift and decisive consequences & boundaries must be established once the evidence is 100% confirmed. If you confront the cheater with 75% of the story, they can easily make a logical excuse or create an alibi for the 25% of the facts that you failed to obtain. If they can create doubt in your mind, you will give them the benefit of the doubt and set the downhill spiral in motion. It is imperative that victims stop confronting their significant others until it is appropriate (if at all), keep their mouths closed and continue to obtain evidence. Once you have the evidence, make sure you have a plan and are ready to follow through with it.

Sometimes it is better to leave a Dear John type letter, when the evidence is so obvious that confronting the cheater is not even necessary. A short term separation, requesting full custody and support of the children (without filing for divorce), establishing boundaries for phone, texting, email, communication, internet, social gatherings, personal intimacy, financial expenses, etc. must be established to completely change the environment the cheater is used. Making family counseling, church attendance and increased quality time as apart of the condition to repair the relationship should ALWAYS be mandatory. And don't stop having boundaries after just a few months. Hanging out a bars, having separate banking, phone and email accounts should never be tolerated in a marriage. Every cheater I have caught lived their lives as if they were single.

Lastly, since all of my advice above maybe useless at this point in your situation, the best advice I can give is to focus on your financial stability and your children. File for 100% legal and physical custody of your children and then focus on repairing your lack of self esteem. In most cases, victims don't need any significant evidence to know that they are not being treated with respect in their relationship and if the suspected cheater doesn't agree then it is time for boundaries and consequences to their disrespectful behavior. Invest in yourself and your children. When the time is right, you will be spiritually, mentally and financially prepared to invest into a meaningful relationship. It may be your husband a few years from now or another man. Learn the lesson and your will be better equipped to handle all of life's curve balls!

Hope this information can be of benefit to you.

Best regards,

Claude Ammons
Corinthian Group
SITE - http://www.Corinthian-Group.com
BLOG - http://investigate4you.rollr.com/
BLOG - http://sexliesvideoviapi.blogspot.com/

Sandcastle, when you have a bit of emotional strength check http://www.divorceinfo.com/ they carry a wide range of information one doesn't consider when under so much stress, doesn't hurt to empower yourself with some knowledge/options/resources available.

Would also be wise to have an STD test to make sure your physically alright, I think you can do this through Planned Parent Hood in some states for free.

As mentioned, do consider individual counseling to help guide you through your feelings while you stay with us for added support.