it's alot easier to forgive than forget

By miss kitty on Thu, 02-23-12, 22:01

Posted in Group:

Infidelity

Sometimes the thought of another affair by him is so consuming that it's more than my mind can bear. I want to trust him. I want to believe in him. But I am so so afriad to let me guard down. What if I get hurt again? Can I make it through something like that again? Almost lost my mind over the first time, I really dont think Im strong enough to do it again.

We are trying to repair our marriage but stupid me, decided to open a bar with him. AM I Fing CRAZY??? Right now, he is there with a "friend" and talking "business". What am i suppose to think? I told him I didnt' want her working on this project, that he and I should work on this as a "team". but no....he decided to ask her anyway!

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By So Alone on Fri, 02-24-12, 11:09

This is a tough situation since you have the business together. It is hard to trust after something like this and unless he is willing to do what ever it takes to be an open book you will not get the trust back. He needs to support your decisions and if you don't want him working on the project with this woman he should respect that. Trust your instincts!!!

Not sure if it would help in your situation but there is sw you can put on his phone (and PC), keylogger sw that may give you some piece of mind. I installed the keylogger sw on my husbands PC and it let me know exactly who he is emailing and chatting with and what he is saying. I never installed it on the cell phone but I read on another board that it does the same thing.

Part of my conditions of staying, my husband has no facebook, no female friends, and I have all the passwords to all his emails. He did open a 2nd face book under an alias 5 days later which I found 15 days after he opened it so the keylogger was installed to make sure there were no other secret accounts. I also let him know if I see ANY contact with any of the 3 woman (not all were affairs but were relationships I didn't approve of) I would leave him without asking questions becasue he had 4 requests in a 6 week period to stop contact with one of the woman and wouldn't let go.

The trust is slowely coming back because he is an open book now but it took a couple months of me knowing everything he is doing. The fake accounts and continued contact really hurt the healing process. I will only be with him if he can remain accountable.

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