He's going to be a father

Ok so there are many things we have to look at here. First off marriage is a big commitment, it is a commitment shared by two people who both put in effort and are there for each other mentally and physically. & remember that I'm here for you, we all are. Okay...so you're husband had cancer last year and survived, that's a blessing, you say you haven't been there for him these past years...why is that? No matter the excuse that's a big bump in the road, men need their woman like woman need their men. But in order to help him honey you have to help yourself, so whatever issues you are going through, talk to someone and yes the therapy is a very good option! I have one also. Now let's see...he has cheated on you with someone else and now has a baby on the way. It's really up to you whether you want to stay with him or not. Can you trust him now? Will things change? From here on there has to be changes slowly made, because if you are not there for him he gets denied affection and love and soon won't be there for you. you both need love affection security and honesty. Without those you have an unhealthy relationship. Do not deny him off that baby though, it will hurt the child in the future and he will regret it. See a therapist and go from there. Be honest about everything and soon what's meant to be will be shown. Good luck hun! Hope i helped.

Hello,

I can’t say that I’ve “personally” gone through what you describe here, but I can say that I’m familiar with how others identify with such circumstances. I would like to commend you for having questions and wanting appropriate answers. This is a primary step in your own individual healing; for this, it is a good choice, of which shows that you are attempting to stay committed to the welfare of your marriage by taking proper steps to influence the union in a positive direction for good purposes. What advice I hope that I may suggest to you is for you both to find a skilled/licensed/certified counselor in order to work with you efficiently and help you to approach this crucial matter with dignity and respect for each of your needs. I pray that in the end all will be fruitful for you and your husband. I also hope that many others will share their own similar circumstances with you.

@ALLNATURALL good advice!

i know it is wrong to tell him to choose between his baby and our family. He has to be held liable for that child i know. i am there by his side through this but how do we get through this knowing he has to be in contact with her to find out how the baby is? I also hope we could not let our younger daughter know as to this would devestate her for she is only 11. She adores her dad and to find out what has happened, it would affect her in every aspect and im not willing to let that happen.

Your hubby will have to discuss this with daughter & yes it will take her a while to process her feelings & for sure she'll look at him in a different light, yet later on, when she's older, she'll realize more of what brought things to this point............everyone needs lots of time, along w/counseling (as the others mentioned).

You should bring baby (when the baby is born) to your house as much as you can & escort hubby w/returning baby back to the mothers house, that way it may ease some of your, well understood, trust issues.