Can anyone relate?
By April on Mon, 03-12-12, 16:54
I do know a couple that survived the affair & pregnancy. Their married 35/40yrs. now & obviously went through a long time of one on one therapy (don't recall off & on how many years) & both of them never cast judgement/blame on the child (he 27 now) or the other woman.
I have to say I admire them for making it together & their relationship is stronger because of what happened, probably because they had to finally face the facts of what they both contributed to the downhill slide of the marriage & had to learn (separately) how to rebuild the marriage, brick by brick. I've also heard (and this is reaching) to embrace the other woman (I don't mean be best friends or have her to dinner) but rather by communicating w/her (just you & her, when your ready & if she's willing to be mature enough for the sake of all), it takes a certain type of person to be capable of doing that but does make the relationship better for all surrounding this unfortunate experience.
It can be done.
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By jlopez7996 on Mon, 03-12-12, 21:54
My husband did tell her we need to be civil to eachother. I don't want to be lose to her at all but this is my husbands Child and I will love it regardless. We are also faced with telling our families and our 11 year daughter. Don't know how to tell her or our family. Don't Know when either. She is only 2 mos pregnant.
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By April on Wed, 03-14-12, 15:26
Hopefully you & hubby can ease your daughter into the process, even though she's old enough to figure things out & may want to talk to someone other then her parents, counselor if affordable, to lead everyone through. Of course your daughter will talk w/her school friends & thats just something your hubby is gonna have to deal with, plus this other women is probably kicking herself, as it will take her years to look at past history to figure out why she got herself in such a mess & the people it impacted directly/indirectly.
As you know, it forever changes things.
I'm sorry.
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This situation is very difficult, emotionally. Not everyone can do what you are trying regarding your marriage. God bless you for your courage and understanding. Take care of yourself. Wishing you all the happiness.