Well I can't believe I am posting with this story. But I bet I'm far from alone. My wife and I met in high school. We had three great healthy children, a nice house, etc. Though we had episodes of rough fights throughout our marriage, we were always able to work it out. She was an awesome, and I do mean awesome wife and mother. The marriage seemed untouchable. We would hear from our friends how great they thought we were together, frequently how jealous they were of our marriage. We shared nearly everything, a strong and active Christian Faith. After work exercise programs and on and on, really. A month ago, I started hearing things like "I don't feel like I'm your wife anymore", and "I feel like I want to be able to go to a bar and talk to people" (from someone that doesn't drink). Well, even a hopeless romantic dumb a** like me could figure that out. I questioned her strongly a few times about if she was cheating on me. The only thing stronger than my tone was her's she used to deny it. This went on for a couple weeks. I found a journal of her's, read it, and found the mushy, albeit vague, notes she had made about him. The language was so teenage, lovey dovey garbage. Just the same exact stuff I used to devour when she would write me as a teenager. But she's 40. AND this is someone else. I felt my face get flush and really hot. I questioned her again, of course hearing resounding total denials. I called my teenage kids and told her either you tell them or I will. She blurted out his name crying, probably from all the pressure and guilt of living the lie and not knowing how and how much I knew. After her staying with her family, we started therapy together and seeing shrinks apart. I have learned she started internet chatting that led to a brief affair and casual encounters. What the...? That's exactly the way it hit me. I love this woman like crazy, hate to break up the kids/fam with a divorce if we could reconcile with therapy and faith based counseling. But Casual? that has really wacked me out. This is so not the person I know. Our kids don't even know of that part (thank God). The shrink says it has to do with rejection issues from her childhood and a few trajedies that happened to her pretty closely in time. I know the love is still there and that probably sounds crazy unless you are me. But I wonder and fear if all this help is a total waste now. I haven't seen any signs of relapse since the three months we've been in therapy. I really have heard all kinds of heartfelt and tearful appologies. But I don't know what I can take and what is best for my family. I just don't know if my wife is not only a cheater but a something, call it whatever sex/love/attention, addict. Big Sigh...So tormented right now. On one hand, feel the need to run and spare me and my children more hurt. On the other, I wan't to stay with our therapy as long as she is doing everything with real effort and does not do ANYTHING to hurt my trust again...